Hilton, Las Vegas, Paris Hilton, Sex, Star
In Breaking news on May 29, 2008 at 10:35 am
Las Vegas Sun 29 May, 2008
At a star-studded event in Las Vegas on Sunday night Paris Hilton launched her new fragrance “Jizz”™. “This is the culmination of my life’s work thus far, which has seen ‘Jizz’ brought to the point where I can now finally share the experience with as many women as possible” said the fashion icon.
“‘Jizz’ has my fingerprints all over it; I have my fingerprints all over ‘Jizz’! I have lived it, breathed it - studied it up close and personally. I can proudly say, that this time, I was intrinsic in its creation. I truly hope ‘Jizz’ does for you, what it’s already clearly done for me” stated an exhausted, yet, very proud Miss Hilton.
‘Jizz’ goes on sale tomorrow at WalMart. www.walmart.com
Anna Nicole Smith, Kobe Bryant, rape, Richard Grease and Kobe Bryant, sex scandal
In Breaking news on May 29, 2008 at 7:44 am
by Doug Ellin
Lakers star Kobe Bryant, fresh from his game-5 victory against the Spurs, defended allegations at a press conference this morning that he had “non-consensual sex’ with Anna Nicole Smith’s corpse 12 months ago. Security footage surfaced on YouTube last week taken at the
Hollywood Forever Funeral Home implicating the Laker’s point guard.
http://www.hollywoodforever.com/Hollywood
“Anna was definitely up for it” stated the Laker’s MVP “She had text me earlier that night with her address.”
When reporters asked how this could have happened, as she had already infact been dead for 8 days prior to their encounter, a red-faced and confused Bryant slumped in his chair. His Lawyer, Richard Grease™, sprung to his defence and fielded the question: “Just because you hear a women is a, quote-unquote, ‘dead root’ doesn’t mean they don’t know how to work a cell phone”, Grease stated.
“Being ‘good in the sack’, or sporting a ‘rack’ shouldn’t negate these important facts:
Miss Smith was no brain-surgeon, that’s not the issue, but if they were handing out gold medals for filatio, she’d be a triple Olympian.” As a fellow athlete, Grease went on to say ”It would’ve been unsportsmanlike” for his client to have refused her offer.
When the room full of stunned reporters asked to see proof of the alleged text message, Bryant and Grease beat a hasty exit.
